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bubba
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« on: March 09, 2006, 06:48:34 am » |
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Because I'm a man,
when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after
hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win, even if it
may mean destroying the door or window in the process.
Because I'm a man,
when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the
engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us
will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with
all these computers and everything, I wouldn't even know where to start.."
We will then drink a couple of beverages and curse at the machine as a form
of holy communion.
Because I'm a man,
when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me
while I lie in bed and moan. You're a woman. You never get as sick as I do,
so for you, this should be no problem.
Because I'm a man,
I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or
bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "paprika" or "tofu."
For all I know, these are the same thing.
Because I'm a man,
when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart,
despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair
person gets here and has to put it back together.
Because I'm a man,
I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If
the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for
it.....though one time I was able to survive by holding a
calculator.....(applies to engineers mainly).
Because I'm a man,
there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The true answer is
always either sex, cars, sex, sports or sex or sex. I have to make up
something else when you ask, so don't ask.
Because I'm a man,
you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying
at the end of it, I didn't....and if you are feeling amorous
afterwards.....then I will certainly at least remember the name and
recommend it to others.
Because I'm a man,
I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five
minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or
without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go
now?
Because I'm a man,
and this is, after all, the year 2006, I will share equally in the
housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the
vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest.............. like wandering
around in the garden with a beer, wondering what to do.
This has been a public service message for women to better understand men...
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