Parenting hurdles never end...

[collecture]

So this crazy guy murders his B-I-L, wife and daughter and then kills himself yesterday.

Kids go to school this morning and then more info is released on the news. She had put a restraining order on him in court yesterday and he had given her a window that she could come and collect some things. Apparently planned - he parked down the street, snuck up and shot the B-I-L while he was sitting in his truck, killed his daughter inside the house; killed his wife and then set her on fire in the back yard, then killed himself in the alley a block or so away. Apparently Police were called to the house last month for a suicide threat from him. The middle school had also asked that he stay away from school because of a hot head. Right there is when he needs to be RED flagged and all weapons need to be confiscated.

Turns out it was a girl that was not in my son's grade, but one above it. She went to his elementary school and was an honors student, which means my son had her in his honors classes there.
So after school, we are going to have to sit down and try to explain this senseless act to him. Why do people do this crap? Just take your own life!!

[MoonDawg]

Why do people do this crap?

        It's the resentment of a restraining order, or a divorce / custody settlement and it happens way too often!

        All these women and children should be given 48 hrs police protection, as sort of a "cool down" time.

[Larry]

Why do people do this crap? Just take your own life!!

Agreed. 

[Swachtelncc]

Agreed just should hurt himself not anyone else,

[jholmgren]

Wow Tom, that is a difficult conversation. 

Please don't read this as me being flippant about a horrible situation, but in my experience (I have 3 boys ages 17,14 and 11) children can be amazingly practical and more resilient than we often give them credit.   

My advice, for what it's worth:   Have a frank conversation with him, encourage your son to ask any questions and don't be afraid to look him in the eye and say "I just don't know why" as an answer.

Jim

[aspbear]

Being  a state trooper for 37 years and responding to countless domestic disputes,  I can tell you that this is a really tough call.  The police know that the person is dangerous but you simply can not do anything until the person takes some kind of action.

I know it sounds crazy but the best thing you can do is give the person a shotgun show them where the safety is and tell them to point it at the person and keep pulling the trigger until they are no longer moving or you are out of ammunition.

If you rely on a protective order to protect you from a truly deranged person YOU WILL DIE.   The best defense has to be in your hand and you have to be willing to use it,  as to this lady never trust anyone especially if they say they will be gone and you can pick up your stuff and no need to call the police to standby....

Seen many of these and you simply have to protect yourself.....

[bcharlton]

Great advise Aspbear.  Especially Coming from an  expert.

BC